Struggle Inside My Head

I've had a rough week this week. It started Sunday when I very stupidly made a 1/2 batch of my very favorite cookies... oatmeal raisin. They are the best ever! I had given myself one day to have a small treat and it worked great until I let that get the best of me. I do so much better if I make something that is a one-serving-and-it's-gone kinda thing... anyway, I ended up eating 7 cookies in only 1 hour. I couldn't seem to help myself. Then Monday I only had one (which was good) and ended up giving the rest away or else my husband ate them/took them to work. I haven't been recording my food intake very well this week either. I found a website called livestrong.com where you can record everything you eat and it will figure all the numbers for you and give you the % if things like fats, proteins, carbs, etc. and if you go over the recommended daily allowance the numbers turn this really ugly bright shade of red. It totally messes with my mind. Take sugar for example... the program has told me every day that I'm over the RDA but I didn't even eat any refined sugar. It was things like apples, honey, banana's etc. so it doesn't take into consideration what kind of sugar it was which to me is the most important part. I don't know why it got me down so much but it really did. I've still been eating pretty well for the most part but I feel like I'm constantly thinking about food and having to battle with myself to not eat it or make it or buy it. It's really been frustrating.
So I've been thinking about why this week has been so hard and I think that it's because we finished our workout program, Chalean Extreme, on Sat. and since then I don't feel like I have a goal in mind. (I've still been working out though :)I need to just take a breather and find a new program that I want to do and get some real goals pinned down. Chalean Johnson has a new program coming out next month (I think) called Turbo Fire that I want to do. I think that would make it much easier to feel there is a purpose in what I'm doing and have some goals to work toward. I'm not even sure what my Body Fat% is. I think if I find that out I can get a number to work toward. I don't want to lose any more weight so that's not something I can gauge and inches lost really don't work very well either.
I haven't felt a whole lot of support lately either. My husband has cut back on his treat consumption but not as much as I think he should so he really isn't that helpful in talking me out of making or eating treats. Like tonight I suggested making rice crispy treats and he encouraged me and helped me make them... then I had a small piece and said that wasn't satisfying at all so he told me I should make a smore... and I had been wanting to all along. So I did. Blah... He should read my post about Support :) Love that man! Then I've also have several people tell me that I look really thin and that I need to be careful, like I'm not... "So how much do you think you need to lose? What do you weight now? 115?" Me: "No, I'm still in a healthy weight range." Them: "Are you sure? You are pretty tall you know." I think too many people don't understand the concept of becoming leaner and tighter. Muscle weighs more than fat and it takes up a lot less space. Also, I had the thought- How many people would come up to an over-weight individual and say, "So how much do you think you need to gain?" What are you now? 300? You really should stop eating so much and be careful." Right... Like any sensitive person is going to say that. So why is it okay to say that to someone who is working toward a goal of being physically fit.
*sigh* It's been a rough week. Here's to getting it back together and being mentally strong.

Three Ways Not to Overeat

I got these tips from my awesome beachbody coach Rochelle. She posted them on her blog and I just wanted to share them here.



1. Wait. When you decide you're hungry, make yourself wait at least 15 minutes before you eat. This will help you determine whether your hunger is habitual or your body is craving nutrients.

2. Drink. A tall glass of water 30 minutes prior to a meal will reduce your tendency to overeat.

3. Exercise. The perfect scenario is to have a glass of water followed by some exercise, like a walk, a jog, or some stretching. This will take your mind off of food, and you'll be far more likely to only crave the foods your body needs.

Show Some Support!

I found this article on MSN and loved it! I've noticed that it's hard to support people who are trying to live a healthier lifestyle than ourselves and I've also experienced a little discouragement myself as I've been changing my own habits. Let's get behind people who are putting forth an effort and help make life easier for them! It never hurts to be healthy!

How can you be encouraging to someone who's trying to lose weight? Avoid putting your foot in your mouth by not saying the following:

1. "Sorry, no seconds for you."

Variations: "Don't eat that!" "Your doctor says you shouldn't eat fat/simple carbs/sugar/etc." "You don't really want that."

Why it's unhelpful: Playing "food police" by depriving someone, hiding food, shaming, or otherwise monitoring his or her diet is controlling. Just as nobody can put food in someones mouth, nobody but the eater can put the fork down, Roth says. The desire to lose weight has to come from that person.

Better: Address the stress, or the other source of the eating, not the eating itself. Instead of telling the eater what to do (or, more typically, what not to do), Roth suggests asking what you can do to help: "What can I do that would support you?"

Don't make it food-specific. For example, to an overwhelmed "sandwich generation" caregiver looking after children and aging parents, you might offer respite care so she can go shopping or take a walk.

2. "But I made it just for you."

Variations: "Just taste it." "Come on, a little won't hurt you." "What? You don't like it?"

Why it's unhelpful: "Food pushers" who guilt others into eating tend to be insecure about their own weight or eating habits, or they feel threatened by a dieter's self-improvement efforts, says Beth Reardon, Caring.com senior food and nutrition editor and director of integrative nutrition at Duke Integrative Medicine. "The person trying to lose weight shines a light on the food pusher's unhealthy body."

It's true that we cook for others out of love—but when we goad them to eat the results, we're doing it for ourselves.

Better: Offer food without editorializing, either beforehand or when it's refused. If you're the dieter, practice the art of "no." "Instead of making excuses or explaining why you don't want to eat something, just say, 'No thank you,'" Reardon says. "At a party, take it and toss it a few steps later."

3. "Are you sure your diet allows that?"

Variations: "I can't believe you're eating that." "Isn't that fattening?" "Why did you eat that?"

Why it's unhelpful: Questioning every bite your friend or loved one attempts is another form of control—one that dishes up heaping helpings of guilt and shame.

Better: Be a silent good example, not a nag. Keep healthful food choices in the house and minimize junk without pointing it out. In restaurants, order what you'd like without commenting on the dieter's plate. If you're the eater, stand up for your choices. Reardon suggests comebacks such as, "Sure I can have it—my diet is about moderation, not deprivation."

4. "You look great just the way you are."

Variations: "Oh, you don't need to lose weight." "I think you've lost enough." "Just think how great you'll look if you just lose 10 pounds."

Why it's unhelpful: Judging the size of someone's else's body is never our business, Roth says. "You may love them, adore them, or be concerned about their health, but what they put in their mouth is not your business."

Better: Respect boundaries. Whether you feel a loved one or friend is too heavy or too thin, your opinion has no bearing on what she chooses to do about her body—that's the individual's call. Let the person and her doctor decide what's a healthy weight and what to do about it.

5. "Let's go get ice cream."

Variations: "This celebration calls for dessert." "Just this once."

Why it's unhelpful: Tempting the person with foods you know she's trying to steer clear of is the opposite of offering support, Reardon says, even if you mean it as a harmless suggestion and even if it's for a "good excuse."

Better: Make an activity, rather than a food, the focus of a social outing or celebration. Propose a toast. Buy a gift (one that's not related to food). Invite your friend or loved one out for coffee or for a bike ride. Say, "Let's meet at the dog park" or, "Let's go have tea."

6. "I hate to see you depriving yourself."

Variation: "It must be so hard." "You're so brave to do this."

Why it's unhelpful: Reminding a dieter of his daily struggle doesn't tell him anything he doesn't already know.

Better: Skip the empathy altogether. People often fall into these conversations at big events, like weddings or parties, where guests tend to indulge, because they transfer their own guilt or worry to the dieter. Resist the temptation to talk about the food. Stick to discussing the weather or the bride.

7. "You're no fun anymore."

Variation: "Nobody likes to eat with you now." "Your diet is ruining my appetite."

Why it's unhelpful: Criticism of any kind undermines progress. And when commentary on diet becomes a commentary on personality, too, it's just plain rude.

Better: Remember that the comments we make to others about their weight-loss efforts tend to highlight our own insecurities, says Reardon. Ask yourself why you think the person is "no fun." Is it because you feel guilty about your own food choices or lack of willpower? Because food was central to your friendship, and your friend or loved one has moved past that?

8. "You look skinny today!"

Variations: "You look thinner than last week." "That dress is very slimming."

Why it's unhelpful: What seems like praise (and indeed may be meant that way) laser-points an emphasis on appearance that can make the dieter feel self-conscious—and judged.

Better: Instead of placing an unnecessary emphasis on looks, acknowledge weight-loss efforts by focusing on the health benefits, Reardon suggests. For example: "Wow, I bet you feel fabulous!" "You seem so vibrant these days."

9. "You should join a gym."

Variations: "You should walk more." "You'll never lose weight by exercise alone."

Why it's unhelpful: "You should" comments come across like criticism, even when you mean them constructively, and even though it's true that the key to losing weight is to manage exercise as well as diet.

Better: To help the person who's losing weight get more exercise, make a string-free offer that sounds like help, not an attack: "Do you want to join the Y with me?" "I'm walking the dog; do you want to come?"

10. "This book will help you lose weight."

Variations: "Have you tried Weight Watchers?" "I read about this new diet."

Why it's unhelpful: Even concrete weight-loss advice can sound like meddling and judging. "It's tricky," Roth says. "You can't say 'Here, read these books,' because the person perceives it as you trying to control them. And here I'm an author saying this!"

Better: It's usually best not to discuss food and diet even indirectly. "It's never about the food," says Roth. "If you focus on the food, the person will have her antennae out. She'll think, 'What you're really saying is I shouldn't have so many mashed potatoes.'"

Instead, support a loved one's efforts to change her life for the better by helping her manage stress or loneliness, not tempting her, and by doing what you can to improve your own health. "People respond to love and caring, not judging and shame," Roth says.

Physical and Emotional Cleanup

Yesterday I ordered a cleanse system by Renew Life from vitacost.com called Renew Life CleanseSMART™ Advanced Cleanse Kit. It's a 30 day cleanse that still allows you to eat healthy, which is what I'm doing anyway so I can handle that. It had some really good reviews so I thought I would give it a try. I decided to try this rather than do something that requires going without food for even a few days. I don't want to risk losing muscle mass... that would be sad.
My husband found this great website called exercisetv.com that has some great full length workouts available for free. There a few good yoga practices that we've done on our "days off" with the ChaLean program. I went through one yesterday that was about 45 min. long. It was challenging but it was easier than I thought it would be. When we lived in Boise we had a gym membership at Gold's and we took yoga about twice a week for almost a year. We had the most amazing yoga instructor and I was so sad to leave her. I remember doing some of the same poses that I did yesterday but they were so much easier than I remembered. I love feeling stronger!
Going through the practice though I started thinking about how I need to put a focus on developing my spiritual and emotional self as I'm working on the physical aspects. Yoga meditation was an excellent time for me to take about 5 to 10 minutes doing body scans and going through some positive mental thought processes. It helped a ton in leaving my emotional baggage on the mat and moving on with my day, starting with a new day and a better outlook on life. It's a practice I need to work into my mornings and that will require getting out of bed a little earlier before my girls wake up. Sounds like a plan!

Detox Cleanse

I'm on my last week of the ChaLean Extreme program by Beachbody and I'm pretty sure that I want to repeat the program again. I've loved it! It's been a great program that includes lots of lower and upper body work at the same time and I feel like I've gotten better results for my lower body than I did with P90X. My thighs and butt have really trimmed down with this program. So I've been thinking that I'm going to take a little time off of the weight lifting and do some kind of a master cleanse and flush out my body before I start the program again. I found this website called justcleansing.com and there's tons of different cleanses available and the website walks you through them. I'm not sure how I feel about going 10 days on nothing but lemon juice and maple syrup water though. Growing up I did several cleanses. My mom was pretty big into them :o) But I want to continue to be active in the process where most of the cleanses really do take a lot out of you. There's tons of them on the market that you can buy that are simply a bunch of pills you can take but still continue to eat normally. I don't think I agree with that idea though. How can you clean out your body if you're still putting stuff into it? There is a three day cleanse that I've done before that I'm pretty sure I'll use. It's one that was developed by Dr. Christopher, a master herbalist, that has written tons of programs and developed a large line of herbal remedies and since I'm quite into natural medicine and was raised this way, I've used a lot of his stuff. The cleanse can be found here. I'm a believer that our bodies store tons of junk and toxins and the toxins are the main cause for illness and disease so by eliminating those toxins we can create an environment in our bodies that will not allow for disease and also pave the way for optimal health. I'll keep you posted on what I decide to do.

Diet Overhaul

As of May 1st my baby girl was officially weaned! Woohoo! The only thing that I miss about it is the convenience of not having to fix her a meal. It was instant :o)
When I decided to start my "diet" I chose to use a supplement called Slimmetry made by Nutrilite and distributed through Amway. (You can get it from our business here.) It's one that can't be taken while nursing... which is why the push to wean before I took any action... also an excuse to put off something that I knew would be hard for me to do. So starting May 3rd my husband and I started our diet. I really don't like to call it that. To me, a diet is something that is not meant to last. It's one of those things that you start with every intention of doing well and then when it gets hard.... you quit. That is not my intention here. I know my goal at this point is two months, but I'm already feeling the desire to take it further. I've already made working out a part of my life. It's been nine months of 5 to 6 days a week (unless I'm sick) and I really can't see myself letting that go any time soon. I love it! I'm determined to work out through any future pregnancies also. I really don't want to let that set me back.
Thus far, I'm doing about 1600 calories a day with around 60-80 grams of protein. I drink a chocolate protein shake three days a week (which tastes great by the way) after my weight lifting sessions and that helps a ton in minimizing soreness and helping with recovery time. I eat a lot of whole grains, fruits and veggies, lean meats like chicken, tilapia, and a little bit of steak. I'm one of those people that does best when things are spelled out for me. Tell me what to do, and I'll do it. Give me a grocery list and a menu for my week and I would love it. My husband on the other hand is a rather picky eater and he could eat the same three things over and over again. I get so bored with it! So far we've done quite a bit of stir-fry over brown rice, grilled chicken, fish and veggies, and chicken sandwiches. My mom-in-law found these fantastic skinny buns that are only 100 calories, whole wheat and no high fructose corn syrup so we use those for hamburgers, sandwiches and other stuff like that.
I would say my main points for changing the way you eat are:
1. Track everything that goes in your mouth! If you're writing it down and reading labels, you'll pay attention to what you're eating.
2. Clean out the cupboards. If it's in my house, I'll eat it. I don't have things in my fridge, freezer or cupboards that I know I shouldn't eat. (unless it's for my 3 year old and I know I don't even like it.)
3. Plan your meals! Have things on hand that can make a healthy meal in a hurry. We have loved canned chicken around here. Tons of protein and you can do tons with it. Make a sandwich or a wrap, add taco seasoning and have a chicken taco or just eat it out of the can.
4. Portion control! Learn portion sizes and stick to it. A serving of meat it about 3 oz. which is equal to a deck of cards. Crazy hu? When it comes to your weaknesses, don't completely eliminate them. That's when it's easy to give up and tell yourself that you have failed just because you ate that piece of cake. It's better to have a little then to have an anxiety attack over wishing you could eat it. Just ask yourself how you will feel after you eat it and then stick to your decision.
5. Carry a water bottle at all times! Most of the time when we think we are hungry, our bodies are often trying to tell us it's thirsty. Drink a bunch of water first and if you still think you're hungry, eat something healthy.


I'm sure there are others but I'll just start with those. It's really been a great week and a half. My biggest disappointment was last Sunday (my treat day) when I made molten lava cakes and they did not turn out. What a waste of calories and anticipation! I was really surprised by how upset I was over it. I didn't eat much of it and still needed something to reward myself for a good week of eating well so I turned on the hot plate and made a smore. Wow... that was good! I've been out and about with friends a few times this past week and actually did quite well considering the fact that eating is my favorite thing to do on girls nights, besides tons of talking and laughing till I cry :o) I just learned that I have to plan for that and bring things that I know I can eat and not feel guilty about.

The most pleasant surprise I had this week came yesterday when I did my cardio workout. I had missed all cardio last week because I had a nasty sore throat and then female issues so I hadn't done my cardio in almost 1 1/2 weeks and during that time I had changed my diet. My routine was fantastic! I had a lot more energy and made it through it without feeling wasted and I was able to push myself harder then I ever have. I knew I was missing an important component to my fitness and I think that I've found it!
I've got to take some pictures of my progress and take my measurements. The last time I did that was March 1st and I think I've made some progress since then, at least I sure hope so!

I Am Strong

The following is a blog post from my family blog and it really got me to thinking that I should start a separate blog, specifically for my fitness journey. This way those of you that want to know what's going on for our family but don't really care about what I ate, how my work out went, how crappy I feel about myself, or don't want to hear my brag, then you don't have to read it. :o) I think I'm going to love this! I often feel alone in my efforts and I need a place to write how I'm feeling and what's going on in my head. So here's to my new way of life!


Why do I sometimes feel like this?! (Thanks for the pic. Ashley H. Great post by the way!)


I've been thinking about writing this post for some time now, feeling a little unsure about it because it's something I know I shouldn't struggle with, but I do.
I'm positive that all women struggle with their body image at some point in their life and I'm no exception to that. Growing up I don't ever remember my mom not going through some kind of a diet or trying to lose weight and I know that my dad would sometimes complain about how heavy she was. It was mean of him, I must say, and it really hurt her and her self worth. She never has felt attractive or small enough though my mom is the smallest of all her sisters and in better shape then most of her brothers. Obesity runs in her family and it's a huge issue that is plaguing our whole society. I swore as a young girl that I would never be fat and thus far, I've stuck with that. When my Dad passed away he weighed less at 42 then he did his senior year in High school and his family are all pretty thin so maybe I have his genes :o) Besides having babies, I've never had a lot of weight to lose and even then it was only around 15 lbs. which for me was a lot and I felt so unattractive and huge. I've been working out at least five days a week now for about eight months and I am in better shape then I have ever been in my entire life. I love working out now and I love the burn and the sore muscles as a result and I hate to miss a day. It's taken me a while to get here though. I used to think I needed a gym membership and a personal trainer to work out and reach my fitness goals, but now I know that all I need is a good workout program, some free weights, a support system and determination to get through those first few months.
I have been thinner before, but that was during a rough time for me and I wasn't eating anywhere near enough to support my activity level. I was 17 and hating life and how I looked and who I was. I weighed 115 pounds at 5'8 inches tall. I competed in Miss Mini-Cassia that year and obsessed about looking good in a swimsuit and I though that I was almost there. Months later I looked back at pictures of me in that swimming suit and I looked 2 pounds away from anorexic. My hip bones poked out like nothing else and I still felt I wasn't thin enough. There's this unrealistic image that the media has portrayed that tells women how we should look and "if we can just lose those last twenty pounds, we'll have it all—the perfect marriage, loving children, great sex, and a rewarding career." (read full article here. Great article.)

I just stepped outside to get the mail and there was a VS catalog. No wonder I have issues! I regularly have to remind myself that most, if not all, of those photographs have been digitally altered in some way. They've been given a few extra inches to the length of their torso, their facial features have been "perfected," their thighs and butts have been trimmed, their breasts have been enhanced, and they have a team of makeup artists and hair stylists at their disposal. How am I supposed to compete with that?! That's just it... I'm not!
I will say that I know that I look pretty good and I'm not trying to be conceited, but I'm still not where I want to be. I have yet to take control of my food intake and I plan to do just that. I'm going to wean Kaylee soon (she'll be a year on April 28th) and then give it two months of good effort with eating healthy and getting a very balanced diet. I'm going to cut out white flour and refined sugar (except on weekends :) and see where it takes me. It's been exciting to see my body change and to look pretty good in a size 5 or 2 or '26... depending on the brand, which is a whole other complaint that I have! I've battled in my head wondering if I'm taking things too far, but I will say I'm eating more than I think I ever have. I'm always hungry and I'm not one to ignore my hunger pains so it's not like I've gone crazy with anorexia, diet pills or laxatives so I really feel good about where I'm taking this and I'm excited to see where I can go. We're planning a trip to Hawaii for our 5th wedding anniversary in Sep. and it's been great motivation. I told my husband he should take me somewhere swimsuit related after every baby :)
I've been debating about posting pics. of my progress but I'm not sure I'm quite ready yet. I'll do it in June, maybe the first of July depending on when Kaylee's done nursing :) Thanks so much to those of you who have been supportive of my efforts thus far and for all the encouragement. It's helped me get my butt out of bed in the morning and get through some of those tough days.
To those of you on the road to better health and a smaller jean size... Keep it up and be strong!